Almost every day in the Rouleaus’ blended family is focused on someone in uniform.
Trish McGrath-Rouleau has a husband, two sons and one stepson serving in the Oregon National Guard. She also has a stepdaughter and stepson who are soldiers with the Washington State National Guard. “It seems like I’m always sending packages or e-mails to someone who is gone,” she said. “As a military family, we have to make our holidays happen whenever we can get everyone together."
In 2009, Thanksgiving dinner was served a couple of weeks late at the Rouleaus’ home in The Dalles. The meal was followed by a visit from Santa Claus and the unwrapping of Christmas presents. Dessert was a birthday cake and the evening ended with New Year’s well-wishes. The reason for the combined festivities was that the patriarch of the family, SFC. Roger Rouleau, was home on his mid-deployment leave from Iraq. “Things can get pretty chaotic but we do the best that we can with what we have,” said McGrath-Rouleau.
Roger recently returned from his one-year tour of duty with the 41st Infantry Brigade Combat Team. In civilian life, he works as an engineer for the Union Pacific Railroad. “To go to the faucet now and be able to get a cold glass of water is such a treat,” he said. “I think the experience has made me even more grateful for the American lifestyle; we have so much to be thankful for.” While in the Middle East, Rouleau was elected as the mayor of East Liberty, a base that houses several thousand soldiers. “I didn’t have to kiss many babies because no else really wanted that job,” he said.
In addition to his military duties as a contract officer representative, Rouleau became the unofficial ambassador to 64 Iraqi linguists who accompanied and interpreted for soldiers sent into the field. “With the military downsizing over there, we all had a wide variety of jobs to perform,” he said.
In September, he and Trish will bid farewell to sons, Sgt. Andrew Young, 24, and PFC. Jim Rouleau, 21. The stepbrothers will deploy to Iraq with the 116th Cavalry Brigade Combat Team. “I’m a little nervous about going to Iraq but at least I’ll have my brother with me and that makes me feel pretty good,” said Young, who is in college with plans to become a history teacher. Both men are assigned to Fox Company at the Hood River Amory but will head out with a Pendleton unit. Thirty-two soldiers from Hood River and about 140 members of Alpha Company from The Dalles will be participating in Operation New Dawn, the final phase of the Iraq war. McGrath-Rouleau said the family has rented a house at the beach for the Memorial Day weekend. She said everyone will once again have the opportunity to celebrate a few more birthdays and holidays before the next one-year separation.
Another Rouleau family member, Specialist Ryan Young, 25, will stay behind to help train the 20 soldiers left at the Hood River Amory. He works full-time at the Guard’s local operations center as a supply technician. He and wife, Jolleen, reside in The Dalles and are the proud parents of Cadence, 15 months, the first and only grandchild.
In close proximity to the time that Andrew and Jim return home from Iraq in 2011, Sgt. Cathay Rouleau, 25, and Sgt. John Rouleau, 26, will be leaving for Afghanistan with other members of a Washington state unit. Both soldiers have two previous deployments to the Middle East. Trish said Jim has three years of Guard experience and everyone else has seven or more years, with Roger putting in 23 years between his time as a citizen soldier and eight years of active duty as a Navy pilot. Ryan, Jim, Andrew, John and Cathay have used the benefits provided by the military to further their education. Trish’s eldest son, Brandon Young, 27, is a Marine veteran.
The elder Rouleaus met when Roger was working as a recruiter in The Dalles and Trish was helping Ryan and Andrew negotiate contracts. They married in 2003 and two years ago brought new daughter Zori, almost 4, home from China. Soon, she will be joined by 2-year-old Molly Ann, also from China.
McGrath-Rouleau said the most difficult thing about Roger’s deployment was shielding the pre-schooler from news or conversations about the war. “She didn’t want to know that her daddy was in jeopardy; she wanted to know that he was coming home,” she said.
The Guard’s family support program provided Zori with a “Flat Daddy,” a life-sized poster of Roger that sat on her bedside table each night. She was also given a “Daddy Doll,” a stuffed figurine dressed in camo with a photo of Roger inserted for the face. McGrath-Rouleau said the separation anxiety felt by Zori was evidenced when she ran up to a soldier one day and hugged his leg. “Zori was thrilled because she thought that was someone connected to her daddy,” she said.
“There can be a lot of tough moments, emotionally, in a military family but we are also very proud of the service that our loved ones provide. “I have learned not to waste time sitting around and worrying; I just trust that God is taking care of my soldiers.”
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